can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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