No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
A bitchslap is in order.
I had to cum in my sink.
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