He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
