I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
