Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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