Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
