I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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