I feel like abortions should bother me more
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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