have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I haven't been this sober since birth.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
