We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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