Don't you send me to vm
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
