I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
