everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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