Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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