so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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