would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize