I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
