He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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