just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
