she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
