thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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