I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
