watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize