You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
