Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
