it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
