Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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