I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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