I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
