After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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