ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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