he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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