Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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