Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
