he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
