Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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