I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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