I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Randomize
