White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
