Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
