so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
