Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
