No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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