Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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