actually, I'm a sock model
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
