Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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