Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
did you just send me my own nude
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
