Nicole vs. Life
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
