i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
