i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
