I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
