a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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