Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
