I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
