just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need a beard to bite.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
