i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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