Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
