Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
