ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
