i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
