I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
