dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
