I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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